2008-08-05
spastic boyfriend adventures
My boyfriend is a spastic, annoying drunk. I'm not happy at all. Tonight(when he got home drunk from meeting with his pal L., very much breaking the promises we'd made about going easy on the beer these days, and with very good reason), Leo nearly set our house on fire. And I don't mean in a sexy way.
How? You ask. Well, by inexplicably deciding it'd be a great idea to place a plastic lid beneath the grill, turn it on and leave it to melt while he passed out on the sofa. Luckily my intuition (or more so, the hankering for a cup of tea) drew me out of my room and into the kitchen at the opportune time to discover and avert said disaster in the making.
I sure tried to make Leo behold my utter disdain: by shaking him where he lay on the sofa. He was too far drunk though, and barely stirred. I was pretty annoyed, so I said he was an idiot (with girly slaps on the shoulders) for nearly killing us by trying to grill a plastic lid. And I asked him why he did it (which was kind of like asking why an INSANE person does anything). In response, he opened his eyes the barest amount he could muster and, between snoring, said: "That was recommended to me," before closing his eyes again and nearly rolling off the couch. Then, when I reiterated the situation to him a couple of hours later, he just scoffed and said: "Why would I put a lid on the grill?" Yeah. As if I just made it up, you jerk! And actually staged the whole thing by lightly browning it? What the hell? How can you dispute something like that!
On the evolutionary scale, this is an embarrassing low. I don't know how he's survived this long, honestly. Well, one thing's for sure: The plastic lid might have escaped a complete grilling, but Leo won't be so lucky tomorrow!
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And so it begins...
